A Manual to Life in Focus
by Israeli Scholar Micha Kovler
Note: The word “his” is used throughout this article mainly for two reasons: The first is simplification. The second is because I am a male, and writing my deepest thoughts in the female form was not being true to myself. This article is directed at both genders, and hopefully is not gender biased.
I once bought a digital camera to try and film my life and my family. My nephew Gilad, visiting on his summer holiday from the village, took possession over it in 5 minutes. He was 12 years old, just before his Bar-Mitzvah.
I tried talking him into studying the manual carefully before operating it, but to no avail. He was so eager to start filming nothing could have dissuaded him off his target.
Few hours passed and Gilad came back from the yard. Studying the manual, we quickly connected the camera to the VCR to watch the results. Not surprisingly, we found most of the shots to be blurred out of focus, merely because Gilad was not aware that he had to adjust the camera viewfinder to his eye.
The Mitzvoth are no less than A Manual to Life. One can live without them, or exercising some parts of them, but the outcome will be “life out of focus” resulting in “Where did this evil come from?(1)” question.
A child is born without the concept of Good and Bad. Slapping a fellow child in kindergarten may bear the same value as giving him an apple until taught otherwise by his parents and society.
Alas, life is extremely complicated and as we grow up situations and questions we face become more difficult and demanding. We need the manual!
Let us look briefly at the Mitzvah that is perhaps the most common one to be ignored: “Mitzvat Isur Leshon Hara” – forbidding the “Evil Tongue”, or in it’s most common shape, slandering.
Scene one:
It’s lunch time. We are located at the water cooler area in a big corporation kitchenette. Mr. X is mentioning to Ms. Y of the horrific taste Mr. Z is showing in choosing his ties. We are now witnessing slandering
Let’s learn.
Hebrew: “Ein da'var ka'she meel'shon ha'ra she'ho're'get shlo'sha”(2).
Translation: There's nothing worse than slandering, which kills three.
The three people are: The one who said it, the listener, and the person of which the comment referred to. Let’s see how it affects each and every one of the participants.
The person who said it – Mr. X.
The 3rd law of Newton clearly states: “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”. We also know that Mida Keneged Mida, i.e. measure for measure, guides the world. For example, in Parashat Beshalach we learn of the Egyptians who first drowned all the Jews first born, and later drowned themselves in the Red Sea.
The laws of the universe are true both in the physical and the metaphysical realms. Every action we take creates a certain “energy”. Words are a beautiful example: We can make someone laugh, smile, cry, angry; our words have energy to them, moving the other person’s emotions.
Words of scorn have a negative energy imbedded. Once we give birth to such words and omit them we become the rightful owners of this energy. And as rightful owners, shouldn’t we retrieve what we lost? And so, we will!
The person who heard it – Ms. Y.
When we let words leave our mouth we should always be aware of the energy they carry. Negative words carry negative energy, and although Ms.Y may react with laughter (could be either a defense mechanism, embarrassment or other), the negative influence is making its way to her psych. In this case her relations with Mr. Z are affected. From that moment she cannot address him in a clear and pure way – or address Mr. X with respect in case ‘she is on Mr. Z’s side’. She bears a secret, a small one but still, that disables hers from relating to Mr. Z with love and respect. And most probably, she will avoid eye contact, gazing at his ties…
The person of which the comment referred to – Mr. Z.
Mr. Z in our case is affected deeply. His relation with Mr. X and with Ms. Y will not be the same. The feeling between him and the two others will be distorted, becoming ‘not clean’. Most probably he would feel their scorn, resulting in a negative chain of events.
When Old Hillel was asked to explain the whole Torah in one phrase he said: “Veahavta Lereacha Kamocha”(3) (Hebrew): Love your acquaintance(4) as you love yourself. Loving the other as you love yourself, seeing the divine spark in his/her soul and respecting him/her, will not allow words of unkindness.
In addition, this phrase can be interpreted differently. “Love your ‘Bad’ as you love yourself”. Acknowledge the ‘bad’ parts within yourself. Once awareness is there, these bad parts can be turned into positive energy in a process over time, as in Tzadik Katamar Yifrach(5). When you “know” your “Bad” you can control it and transform it to “Good” over time(6).
When Mr. X said those words to Ms. Y, his remark came from a narcissistic way of self-comprehension. He had put himself before Mr. Z and not on the same level. He has broken the essence of the Torah: “Veahavta Lereacha Kamocha”
Exercising the Mitzvah of Guarding one’s tongue is a big step towards relating to the other with the same love to one’s self, resulting in a much better, clean and pure dialogue, a more harmonious being, and in short, Life in Focus! Try It, You’ll Love it!
Micha Kovler – www.kabala.org
micha@kabala.org
All Rights Reserved (c)2004 - Used with Permission
End Notes:
1. Shofteem, 20:3
2. Beit Hamidrash, 4: KMH
3. Vayeekra, 19:18
4. The word “Reacha” in Hebrew has no direct translation in English. It is something between “your acquaintance” and “your friend”, closer to “acquaintance” in nature.
